Have I mentioned the tragedy that was my brand (effing) new HTC 4S Design cellular mobile device?  Here’s a piece of life advice – don’t drop your phones in snowy, icy, salty puddles.   If you do, don’t take your baby to a suburban sprint store because the high school punk part-time employee will say “Your phone is a basically a paperweight.”  Sigh.  I haven’t given up the fight yet, but for now I will settle for an old Hero…and just be jealous of others efficiently utilizing CTA Tracker.  Hrrummph.

On to my travels – a week in Atlanta was fabulous!  I love (company-paid) trips when I get to see awesome Atlantans nightly and my fabulous family (I miss you, Ba + Lara!) on the weekend.  First, let’s the get the work stuff outta the way.  I was attending an annual CDC meeting, and it was pretty damn cool to meet the faces of ppl I’ve been interfacing with for a year.  It’s a good time to recognize my role in their amazing work…while it’s small (and of course, backgroundy), I realized that sometimes the resources/connections my Academy can provide from a national standpoint — really make a difference.  I’ve never been so proud to be (a small) part of such a HUGE national movement.  Suck it, tobacco + obesity!

My first night in the A…oh, backtrack just a smidgeon.  I flew with the most interesting character (a Northwestern prof, no less) who was afraid of flying.  Before take-off, she excused herself and said “I am going to go ahead and embarrass myself and admit, I’m a bad flyer.”  The majority of the flight, she covered herself in her (apple red) jacket and was non-responsive at best.  Pretty amazing.  But she was very pleasant!  When we landed, she made some quip about “at least I didn’t scream.”  Oye.  She was a much a calmer, normal cab partner to the hotel.  I was essentially housed in the “Schaumburg” of Atlanta for this meeting…an area for families, yuppie late 20 somethings, newlyweds, and people who are over Atlanta/Decatur.  That’s cool – I made ppl come to me .

First night – I had dinner with my dearest and FIRST friend from college…we realized our friendship was on its 10th year later this fall.  Whoa.  Thankfully, we’re both Asian so we don’t look old quite yet.  It was a fabulous night!   One – because catching up with this friend is always entertaining.  I think that initial freshman connection gives us longevity despite our inability to see each other more often!  Two – I finally opened up to her about something I was previously remaining mummish on.  Scroll up several entries, and you’ll remember I discussed the joy of purging to friends.  In this case, I was just filling her in, and it was magical.  Why?  Because something that had originally made me really sad/wompy…turned into the most hilarious story ever.  Her reactions really amplified the levity in it all.  And I realized something…over time, it is possible to laugh at crap that once made you cry.  And it feels weirdly awesome .  No longer was I frustrated, confused, annoyed…I was just telling a funny story.  Sidenote – my Polish Princess has decided to use some of my dating stories in her book.  ”HOW TO DATE AN INDIAN” is my proposed title.  Moral of the story – if you’re feeling crappy about something today (boys, girls, work, family, looks, life) – trust me when I say, ‘s gonna be okay.

My week also included an Emory gal pal reunion – it was perfect, and not just for the sushi and gelato.  It was like “old times” – ha, which really are only a few years old.  I don’t remember the last time I laughed so much when in Atlanta…hanging out with dear sister and her hubby, friends, cousins, new friends…I also realized one more thing.  I really enjoy visiting Atlanta – while it wasn’t a perfect residential fit, I honestly adore coming back for the amazing faces (and sweet tea!)  There is so much about that city I miss – mostly my family and friends, but also some of the tree-lined streets of Druid Hills, Publix, and Midtown/Downtown’s skyline…I’ll be back again .

OMG, also, learned that I am old.  My sister/cousin decided we’d go out for the night with some friends.  Good times were had, but I also learned that this so called tolerance others speak of (“my tolerance isn’t what it used to be”) never actually properly formed within me .  Nevertheless, dancing into the night was amazing.  Also, amazing?  My need to tell not 1, but 2 people they should stop smoking in life…but mostly in the bar/club.

A week back in Chicago, my current home, was lovely.  Date night with Polish Princess (the Vow, I didn’t cry, but I came close); volunteering on the West Side (making robots with adorable little ones and making conversation with some interesting folks); and finally…happiest hour.  Our first in a while, and first of many.  Stocks and Blondes in the financial district…Stocks and Bonds…Oh yeah, you see what they did there?

In a few days, I am off to Cali for THE FIRST TIME EVER.  I am super excited – nerdly excited to staff what I imagine will be a fascinating talk on tobacco use/prevention/cessation…but mostly I can’t wait to hug my dearest Ami (and her fab Chris)!  She is going to take me on a day tour of San Fran, and I freaking can’t wait!  Alcatraz, seals, and the Golden Gate are my must sees.  The following weekend, I hit up Philly for work – in the process I get to see 2 of my favorite people – an older cousin bro and practically an Indian Kaleigh.  YAY.  Then I take a travel holiday…thank goodness b/c I gots to celebrate St Patty’s Day in style in the city.  Must find that awesome green sparkly bow tie from St Patty’s Day 2009 to sport.

Have I already mentioned my new obsession with Kina Grannis?  She is GOOD STUFF, people.  Can’t wait to see her live in May…Speaking of good music, my life has become infinitely better (and it was pretty damn amazing at baseline) since I discovered Spotify.  Yes, I jam out to Celine, N*Sync, Drake, and Lil’ Wayne at my leisure.   My music taste is eclectic if not a little embarrassing.

And the kicker – this little migraine-prone tween is going to…drumroll please…VEGAS, BABY!  Can’t wait to celebrate a dear pal’s 21st birthday (okay, 21 + some) in the City of Lights…wait, is that LA?  The city that never sleeps?  Is that NYC?  The city where prostitution is legal?  Holla for a dolla.

A Few New Kiks’ Picks of the Post:

- Frontline on NetFlix – yeah, I went there.   I like watching some of the older (2008-10) healthcare epi’s.  Sometimes I like to be reminded of why I voted for Obama and why I still believe in him for a 2nd term!

- No Chip Manicures!  Totes worth the money if you’re traveling/presenting a lot for work.  Nothing says professional like a chip-free finger nail

- Massages!  Had a lovely Swedish massage yesterday AND learned I might be able to get insurance to cover them.  Wait, what?

- The League (NetFlix) — omg, I know nothing about Fantasy Football, but this sitcom is hilar on crack.

- Local theater – In Chicago, try the Chopin Theatre off the Division blue.  While you’re there, hit up Kin Sushi.  And go into the CVS in the mf bank building.  It’s really nice!

Off to see some of the palest people I know – stories forthcoming I am sure.  I hear Milk Boy walks now and Space Boy just turned 5!  It’s gonna be epic (!!!).

Text to Polish Princess:  I fell on my ass.  You’re gonna need to give me extra attention today.

I spent last weekend in Bloomington, IN…home of the Cream and Crimson!  It was lovely getting away from the big city for a few days – I love Bloomy.  It’s quaint, the food is delish, and I got 3 quality days with my Cupcake.  Though I will say…hanging out in a college bar is something I’ve…well, rarely done.  I wasn’t much of a partier at UF (okay, let’s be completely honest, I was a complete cultural nerd and spent my free time museuming and seeing plays at the Hippodrome).  I went out quite a bit after starting my first job (correlation?  I think not)…I guess those were college bars in Lawrence.  Okay, I rescind.  I haven’t been in college bars much since 2006-07.  I felt old.  I knew I was younger than many of the MBAs, but I felt old.  Also, I got really sleepy around 12.  But then we went to the second bar with a slightly less crowded feel.  Highlight of the weekend.  Meeting Cupcake’s friend who was donned in Tebow gear (for the Broncos…loss) getting Tebowed and then flipped off by a little IU undergrad.  In a bar.  It was equal parts awkward, awesome, and annoying.  Okay, more awesome than annoying.

I also discovered Strawberry Hard Cider!!!  If you’re ever in Bloomy (yeah, right)…hit up Oliver Winery!

And if you’re in the Chicago-area on Saturday, join me at the Mayne Stage.  I won’t be performing IF THAT HELPS.  Love Jess Godwin’s music like whoa!

You ever have those moments at work where you just feel good?  Like you’ve hit your stride?  I am sure it won’t last, but I will cherish it for now.  Yeah, I am sure my next post will be titled “Work blows, and I fell again.”  Whatevs, that’s neither here nor there.

In other news, I signed up for my first volunteer opp for 2012 – very excited to get back into the act of giving.  I know that sounds super maizey, but it’s true what they say.  Thinking about others gets you out of your own head.  Not a way to avoid your issues, rather an outlet…a time for perspective. Plus, pretty sure there will be adorable children!  Let’s hope the other volunteers are cute Indian male doctors.  But for the record, I am doing this FOR THE CHILDREN.

Okay, time to bundle-o bundle-o (a favorite saying of muh Mama), do some laundry, and watch some Netflix.

Stay warm, and try not to fall.  But if you do, dust yourself…but obvi don’t try again.

Haven’t had a good train story in a while…just when you think people are normalizing, I run into Eminem himself on the blue heading South.  Okay, if this kid be-bopped his head any more to the music, it would have fallen off.  His music was SO FREAKING loud.  Oh, and vulgar.  I tried to give angry looks in b/w my napping, but he just looked at me and then bopped some more.  As if he thought it was like “Right on, you hoodlum, right the F on.”  But then it happened.  Magic.  Somewhere b/w the cursing and outright defamation of women…I hear…H1N1!  This is public health.

I am back on my healthy-ish kick.  BUT first, I must admit.  The fries at Wendy’s – naturally cut, sea salt something…SO yummz. And with ranch dressing.  I am so happy there is not a Wendy’s close to me!  That could be epically tragic.

Sooo, I’ve just started this Pinterest business.  I don’t really get it, but it’s currently trendy, so OBVI I am going to try it.  I mean, crap, I even tried Google+ for a minute.  My favorite is finding funny info-graphics/one-liners.  ALSO…People re-pin me!  You have no idea how happy this makes me.

Soo I’ve been asking my friends and siblings to save plastic/glass containers for me.  Why?  I am not sure, my sister fears a hoarding tendency.  In reality, I’ve used the glass jars for my pens/markers.  Then I was “gifted” a couple of small dublus/containers that once held body butter.  I know what you’re thinking – PERFECT TURMERIC FACE MASK CONTAINERS.  If this doesn’t say exciting Friday night, I don’t know what does.  So in goes the honey, the turmeric, a smidge of gram/wheat flour, and then a teensy bit of baking soda.

Science majors may have already sensed a red flag.  This marketing major DID NOT.  So I apply mask, wash off, screw the top back on my fancy TURMERIC FACE MASK CONTAINER.  Everything seems kosher.  The next morning when climbing out of the shower, I notice, face mask all over the sides of the container.  [Visual:  Mr Dink from Doug – his cheeks overflowing from a small container].  Oh, whoa, I was just going to share an actual image of Mr Dink for you…he was purple?!  I totes forgot!  Okay, so not him.  I guess we could say Patty Mayonaise, but her cheeks weren’t really that plump.  ANYWAYS, it was a mess.  Note to self (and to you), the combo of baking soda, wheat flour, turmeric, honey à whipped mess.  Did I throw it away?  Hellz no.  I cleaned it up and used it a couple more times .  Second batch, I skipped the baking soda.  So far so good.

The bushel of citrus is now finished – mostly by giving it away, but it’s gone now.  Good riddance.  The scrub was funnish, but I think in the future, I’ll need to try a grainier salt.  Sugar just seems like a pest-control issue in the making, so I’ll stick with salt.  Also, really hoping my pipes don’t OD (overdose, obvi) on corrosive salt.

DC for the day tmrw -nothing saw awesome like a 4am cab to O’Hare.  I am 99% sure the Auntie Anne’s will be closed at that hour.  HMMPH.

This weekend should be wonderful,  I am going to pretend to be an MBA student for the weekend with Cupcake!  Maibs I’ll just say random business jargon I remember from undergrad…omg, I started UF 10 years ago this August.  I will try to incorporate game theory and diminishing returns into casual convo at the bar.  I AM SURE IT WILL BE TOTALLY AWESOME.

Happy 2nd week of 2012, readers!  First 10 days…not too shabby at all.

Also, it’s practically Spring, so cheers to that .

Things I may have uttered SO FAR in 2012:

I got a new shirt.  I’ll walk over to your desk later and remove my cardigan so you can really appreciate it.

When describing what I looked like trying out my new NYE heels:

I wore them to brunch on Saturday…with jeans.  I looked like a drunk wanna be working girl.  Took me twice as long to get anywhere.  Hot.

I can’t keep my Spanx up!

me:  but seriously, why don’t either of us brush our hair?  i think i was going for messy chic. really doesn’t translate in pics.

me: cant get up for a while – just spilled some water on my shirt.

me: indians’ careers are so yawn-worthy
Polish Princess: oh yes. who would want a doctor? BOOORING

BRC either just said blue cheese or hoochies. either way = winning [Context: listening to Billy Ray Cyrus on Spotify b/c I am a southern belle, damnit!]

Best parental quote ever?   —–>  Speaking of migraines, are you still interested in getting married?  – Papa

New Year 2012 was a blast!  The heels stayed at home, but I rocked my black Rihanna bootie boots.  Umm, buying 3ish (4ish?) inch heels the day before you need to wear them…not the best call.  I tried.  I really did try to practice (see above). I wore them around the apartment, too.  I just looked like a bird trying to learn to walk.  Or a kitten?  Bambi?  I am not sure.  Something that couldn’t really walk.  Let’s put it this way – I looked more graceful in the ice skates at Mill Park.

Anyways, it was sooo much fun to get dolled up!  Essentially, I injected blush in to my cheeks, so I was photo-ready at all times.  Cupcake did my eyes, and I managed not to smudge them ALL NIGHT.  At some point, I definitely did the running man, so obvi it was a good night.  I also feel totally rockstar as I just discovered my drank!  I’ve never really know the difference b/w the varieties of vodka…though once while (momentarily) drinking alone in a bar in Atlanta (that’s neither here nor there), the cute bartender told me there was really no difference in grey goose vs wells.  Or something like that.  Ciroc! I am embarrassed to endorse anything from P. Diddy, but I’ll do it anyhoo.  I am sure his sales will sky rocket as soon as I press “publish post.”

I think celebrating in style at a swanky hotel is a must-do (or a “if you feel like it-do”) at least once.  Now it’s back to reality, and so far 2012 is going just fine.  Work travel starts next week, so I look forward to feeling really corporate-y and jet setting.  Let’s be honest, I’ve been itching to use my corporate card!  I mean, I look forward to meeting the partners I work with in person.  But mostly the jet setting bit.  First stop?  Our nation’s beloved capital!  Then Atlanta, maibs Philly, perhaps Cali!  I am kind of a big deal.

So the end of 2011 was “Soup Diet.”  The beginning was “Fake Diet.”  For 2012, I am starting with the grits and toast diet.  Back to basics?!  And I’ll be more active.  Running in place and lifting weight (just one at a time!).  So instead of losing weight, I’ll say my goal is to just be healthier.  Let’s face it, the metabolism of my early 20s has sl-o-o-o-wed down.   

Kiks’ Picks (it almost rhymes, but it doesn’t)

http://thoughtcatalog.com/2012/20-new-years-resolutions-for-20-somethings/ –> almost positive # 8 was directed specifically to me.

 http://www.marcandangel.com/2011/12/18/30-things-to-start-doing-for-yourself/ –> Good read!  I know, I know, sometimes, I get a little overly-overall health-happy.  BUT I really enjoyed this one!  You will, too.  READ IT, damnit.

I can’t believe 2011 is already over.  Where did it go?!  2011 was a year for the memory book for sure.  Lots of ups, soooo many ups.  A few downs, but I am sure I learned something from them so that’s good.  Personally, I’ve had all the learning I need for a while, so that’s that.  I’ve been super fortunate this year to find my new (although kinda old) city, a new job (where I hope to build a career?!  wait, what?  that sounds too adult), and an adorable apartment.  I’ve met some wonderful people, and I’ve re-connected with old faces.  It was a good freaking year.  Can 2012 top it?  HELLZ YES.  So excited for the new year.  Resolutions??  Hmm, that is TBD.  But I do have some life resolutiony tenets I’d like to enact:

1) Realistic expectations – I am notorious for having unrealistic expectations of life, myself, and others.  F that.  Cheers to being happy with what we have and to building up.  No cheers for reaching for the impossible.

2) Cool it with the self doubt and second guessing.  COOL IT.  Oh, and avoid the drama queens and kings…avoid being one, too.

3) Live like there’s gonna be a tmrw, and it’s gonna be even better than today.  Here’s to taking chances in 2012.  And to laughing a lot.  Like an obnoxious amount.

In other news, I accidentally came across my boss’ FB page the other day.  O.M.G. Gold mine.  The man tags everything…does this humanize him?  Maibs.  For as awkward as he is, I do really like him.  Even when he asks weird questions at my desk like do you guys celebrate Diwali and Christmas?  Both?  Together?  One in the same?  For some reason I said something about celebrating in a more secular way?  I have no idea.  I often have no idea what I am saying when he’s around.  I imagine it sounds like jibberish.

Things I may have recently uttered:

• I changed my mind, I want to be classy!!  [context: in dressing room whilst shopping for NYE garb]
• Champagne tastes the best when I am in flannel. [context: sometimes celebrating NYE is just better at home.]
• that is how you know your shirt dress is too short..if your moonpies are showing [context:  defining the term moonpies to friend]

One last day of work in 2011…I shall spend it cursing the DHHS.  I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again.  I should run our healthcare in the US.  At the very least, I should teach an entry-level Excel course to the fine folks at DHSS.  HMMPH, I SAY.

OOOH…I’ve always wanted to be a DIYer in beauty care…if that wasn’t obvious from the prior turmeric obsession.

Homemade Grapefruit Scrub

- EVOO

- Fresh grapefruit juice (if you’re lucky like I am, your boss will send you a bushel of oranges and grapefruit for the holidays)

- Honey

- Epsom salt (or granulated sugar)

- Maibs a hint of baking soda

Muuuhcheddd (that’s mix that ish up in Gujarati) and apply while in hot shower.  A-MA-ZING!   Especially if you’re in wintry climates.  Umm, def more relaxing than attempts 1 and 2 at the spa wrap salon.  Oh life tenet resolution number 4 – no more over-indulging in groupon/living social/youswoop deals!  There is a time and place to talk about crime – a spa appointment is NOT ONE OF THEM.

Ohhh, I forgot to mention my fobtastic holiday weekend!  Raise your hand if you celebrated Christmas (in a more secular way) by watching the matinée showing of Don2.  Anybody?  No?  Gotta say, not bad as far as high-drama action thrillers in the Bollywood film industry go.  SRK is still looking hot.  BUT THE BEST PART!?!?  The cool 30 second disclaimer at the start of the movie re: the dangers of cigarette smoke.  That’s a recently enacted law, so it was super cool to actually see it.  Why, yes, I really am that nerdy.  It was lovely spending the weekend with my cousin Cupcake, siblings, and sister’s in-laws.  Felt very homey and comfortable.

The freakishly warm temps will be soon concluding.  That’s okay…only a few more months until Spring!  Positive Patty is around for at least another couple weeks.

Ohhh, another life tenet resolution thingy – EXPLORE MORE.  I freaking love this city.  I love walking around aimlessly.  I love discovering the flower shops, the coffee shops, the amazing architecture.  The Spring will bring new colors (see how I am skipping Winter completely?  I am playing a mind game with MYSELF), and I plan to paint the town red, blue, yellow, purple, green…with them!

Okay, signing off (FOR REALZIES) for 2011.  It’s been a grand 363, but I have a feeling the next 365 are going to be even grander.  Cheers to being happy when possible, resilient when it’s not possible, and grateful at all times.  Cheers to you. xoxo (OMG – my boss had a post on his wall that he signed XOXO – so that’s officially dead to me).

LOVE,

capt’n kiks

p.s. Welcome to the world, Maddy C!  You are one lucky lady, and I love you sooo much already.

Logan Square Flower Shop!

Adventures in babysitting….continued.

“I want my mommy and daddy to come home so I can have snuggles.  I don’t like you.”  Oye.  By the end of the night, Space Boy liked me again.  But I will say, balancing attention b/w a small child and a 1-yr old is near impossible for me!  Also, cloth diapers.  O.M.G.  Listen, I want to be all eco-friendly, too.  But, I have my limits.  Milkboy was super fussball on this fine evening.  Finally he fell asleep hugging me.  Adorable, I know. Until, he woke up in a fit.  I thought he was just a little warm from the blanket.  Nope, noooo, that’s a damp spot on my Rollins shirt (I swear, I respect you, Emory, and all you’ve given me).  Okay, fine, diaper change, NO BIGS.

Wait, Bigs.  Major bigs.  I start to unbutton the fuzzy bunny or whatever the hell those sumo wrestler diapers are called.  So damp.  Vom.  First I didn’t know what to do with the soiled diaper.  So I threw it in the nearby hamper.  Then I found the SEALED tote that actually stores the yucky diapers.  Sigh.  Clean up baby. Diaper’s on.  But the thought of putting those overalls back on was….too…much.  So, I take nakey baby upstairs to find a shirt.  So many clothes, why can’t I find anything that works?!  I settle on a shirt that’s way too big b/c I know I can get it on without much fight.  No pants.

White babies’ mama had a slight fail with chocolate chip mint cookies so the kitchen was left with sheets (no, literally sheets) of yummy flat cookie cracker crepe cakes.  I left CarBoy (SpaceBoy?  The older one, damnit) alone in the kitchen to play on his Mac while I fed MilkBoy one noodle at a time (ONE NOODLE AT A TIME). I see him touching the pan/parchment paper.  Hmm.  I go into the kitchen.

“Will, did you do this?”

“I may have accidentally did that.”

What is this?  What is that, you ask?!  THIS:

“Kiran.  Do you like white and red grape juice?”

“Will, I don’t really like grape juice.  I like apple juice.”

“My mom likes white because it doesn’t stain.”

Hahaha, way to train him, Laura!  Also, I was thinking of wine the entire time.

My friends are in public health, too.  They say weird things.

Fungal Fiend: i wish i was part of the fungal disease group

i sit in a cube opposite their side and theyre always having fun and chatting it up

Fungal Fiend:  going out to eat together

me:  listen to yourself.

Fungal Fiend:  what

fungus have fun

me:  lol.

you def just made it to my next blog

The other day I met the most magical person ever…a current Emory undergrad.  My friend and I decided to hit up an Emory alumni event at the Art Institute Café…for the wine and potential of cute boys.  There was wine.  More importantly, we encountered the most springy, hilarious 21 year old.  In no way is it ever okay to talk about bowel movements an hour after meeting people. No.  I loved her innocence.  She obvi wasn’t in it for full-on prim and proper networking.  I think she found the friendliest looking people there and gravitated. Worked out for us as Polish Princess and I were thoroughly entertained.  Sure, I felt old.  BUT…I also thought, I am glad I am not 21 anymore.  Feels nice to have a stable income and a place that I plan to rent for more than a year.  Oh and a direction in life.

Short week for the next 2 weeks!  Yippee!  And Cupcake and I locked down our New Year’s plans – why yes I will be partying at the Drake this year (and next for that matter).  Excited about getting dolled up and then dancing like it’s my living room carpet with strobes.

Best Tots Ever –> http://rockinghorsechicago.com/

Wishing all (4) of my readers a happy Kwanza, Hanukah, Christmas, Boxing Day…and a sparkly start to 2012.  I plan to celebrate in style.  SWANKY, I know!  Here’s to our best year yet.

Like the birds, I migrated South a bit for winter.  Unlike the birds, I came back a little too early.  Visiting family was lovely.  In summary:  Parents want me to get married, my aunt said I was medium-sized, and my cousin WingLady was fabulous company.  It was nice to be away from work for a week, and nice to see the parentals.  Happy to home with my siblings and ready for winter!  Especially with my new coat.

Gangbangers. Public aid. Drugs.  Ghetto.  –> all important life topics; however, WHY were these discussed during my spa mud wrap?!?!!?  Nothing says relaxing like hearing about a lady getting mugged and pushed down stairs at the OHare blue line.  Oye.  Speaking of my spa experiences….this was better than the last one.  So note of advice, buying 5 detoxifying body wraps b/c of a YouSwoop/Living Social/GroupOn….is dumb.

Experience 1:

I really wanted the seaweed wrap.  I have never had a wrap.  BUT they said it would detoxify and I would lose INCHES.  Okay.  First they cancel the day before and then uncancel.  Okay.  I get there – out of seaweed?!?!  Fine.  Next the most awkward citrus wrap occurs. The only relaxing part – the 20 minutes the stilletto heel-wearing, careless scrubbing tech left me alone in the dark.  Except for the fact that my face was getting really warm and essentially stuck to the plastic shower curtain liner I was wrapped in.  Oh.  Then I was given a tiny robe and had to transfer rooms to shower.  In a tiny shower.  With no soap.  And a tiny towel.  Needless to say, I rushed out (all while questioning if this was normal since I, again, had never had a wrap).

Experience 2:

I called to confirm the day of.  They confirmed.  Hours later, it was cancelled.  Cool.  Finally get in.  Different girl (with quieter shoes!)  Turns out my last lady was fired.  She’s back in GreenBay where she belongs.  May she never improperly loufa a lady again.  This girl was super sweet, but SO FREAKING CHATTY.  Also, the national backorder on seaweed continues.  So mud it is.  Why is the mud so cold?!?!  I thought I could get my nap on, but we chatted about how women need to catch a break, crime (SO. MUCH. CRIME), babies, public aid, public health.  Plus, I came to the conclusion that Lady 2 is real bitter that Lady 1 (the loufa offender) hasn’t called her back.  Finally, she wrapped me up and I relaxed.  So lovely.  And this time, the shower was in my room.  AND she gave me a real towel.  And body wash.  But still, why all the gangbanger talk??  Anyhoo, much better experience, but yeah, really just want to wrap up those other 3 wraps.  See what I did there?

Work – it’s going just fine.  

I really enjoy my new role, and to be honest, I freaking love my team.  Yeah, they’re weird, but lovable.  We just had our holiday party – basically, after 12:30 no work was completed.  At 2:00, we got to LEAVE!  And I won a giftcard.  But dang, mine was for Starbucks….somebody else a GRAND.  and an iPad2.  and other amounts of money.  Dang, AAP, you treat us well.  I get to travel a bit more in 2012, so that’s exciting .

Best Web site ever (after this one):  http://icanread.tumblr.com/  — I love, love, love it.

Country music is my thaaang

I have recently starting listening to country music again…after a 15 year or so break.  LOVE.  If you haven’t been to Joe’s in Lakeview (?), you should go to there.  Brett Eldredge was amazing!  Less cool?  The weird mother-daughter-daughter’s boyf trio dancing together.  Awkward.

I hit the ice rink after a 3-4 yearish hiatus this weekend.  Only 1 fall.  Seriously though, all children must be Canadian these days – that one 5 yr old can skate more proficiently than I can walk.

Today I saw a lady on the train who was wearing a wooly mammoth.  Bit OTT (over the top, obvi).

Finally, I am gradually recovering from death aka food poisoning.  It’s been a lackluster 2 days which culminated in my senior supervisor saying “You poor thing, you look grey.”  Oh.  On that note, I think I’ll have a popsicle and nap for dinner.

My life in nutshells. I love pistachios.

Oh, the service industry gets me every time.  Maibs it’s b/c I’ve studied Marketing and worked in the retailing sector, but crap, I love solid customer service. Sprint dude in Bucktown, Chase banker in Logan – you are good people. So nice. And they answered all of my banal questions with (adorable) smiles. Also, my cute waiter at Keefer’s – so sweet!

I could be a lesbian!  Congrats to my favorite local gay couple – the Gavin’s! The Gavins! Gavins’?! Who knows. What a beautiful ceremony – I think with weddings, it’s so easy to get caught up in all the planning, décor, food, pictures, etc…all important. This wedding was so elegant, but as my Polish princess and I discussed…more importantly, for that one moment in time watching them dance – it felt like everything was alright in the world again. Also, the cabaret dancer totes called my friend and me out on being straight. What does that mean?! More importantly, why do I care?! Irregardless, beautiful ceremony, and I am so happy for my friends. Less happy you had to drive to Iowa to make it “legal.” Stupid Illinois. In other news, next adventure needs to be scheduled – a night of dancing at Spin. You know it.

Hilarity on stage…and in the audience.  Cross it off the list –I’ve been to the Biograph Theater (aka Victory Gardens) where Dillinger was shot. Now I feel the need to watch some movies/documentaries on him. But not by myself, obvi. Anyhoo, my dear friend and I saw “Women are Crazy, b/c Men are A**holes.” I know, what you’re thinking…actually, no, I don’t, since most of my readers are females. It was sooooo funny. Even funnier than the play?? The weird crowd of middle-aged Sikh Indian couples in the front row. WTF. No, seriously, WTF. Nothing about this play’s title screamed “Must see for Indians!” Oh, and how they laughed! It was like a social experiment just observing the crowd. Maibs they won the tickets at mandhir/temple. Ha, okay, that’s wrong. Of course when one accented uncle made some kinda dirty remark during the show, my life was permanently scarred.

I can read!  So I think I used to kinda be a reader. Then suddenly I stopped. I don’t know. Eh. Well, I am not ready to get back into serious books…but I am thoroughly enjoying Mindy Kaling’s autobio. It’s amazing how much our lives parallel….’cept hers is 9003x funnier. Oh, and she’s more successful. But besides that, we’re twins.

I have really successfully amazing friends – you should look into their services if you’re in the need for…a doula, perhaps? A fab photographer?  Click on the images below for more details!

I saw this on one of my friend’s facebook statuses – I liked.  I think a few of my lovely girlfriends will love it, too.

Yes, I’m a female. I push doors that clearly say PULL. I laugh harder when I try to explain why I’m laughing. I walk into a room and forget why I was there. I count on my fingers. I hide the pain from my loved ones. I say it is a long story, when it really is not, just to get out of having to tell it. I cry a lot more than you think I do. I care about people who don’t care about me. I am strong because I have to be, not because I want to be. I listen to you, even when you don’t listen to me. And a hug will always help. Yes, I’m a girl!!!!

Really good music:  www.JessGodwin.com

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ConBzNeYOGM

Diwali treats — why, yes, my co-worker (now known as my Boo) and I brought in Diwali sweets and shared a little bit of the tradition with my crew.  I also brought in some diyas (white ppl translation: um, clay candle holders?) with incense cones since flames aren’t encouraged in our confines.  Best moment – when a co-worker asked me if the incense was edible.

Pizza Party — our division had a pizza party where I learned way too much about their pasts.  Turns out, I didn’t hate the deep dish from Lou Malnati’s.  It was actually better than I remembered!

Pumpkin Carving — I carved my first pumpkin!  It was…interesting.  Very messy, but I was provided a Starbucks apron by my Boo.  I attempted an Om/Ohm…it was, well, I made it work.

Pod (Cube) Trick or Treating — This is when Polish Princess (Boo#2) and I realized perhaps we had consumed a little too much sugar before 11am.

Overall, good work week!  I have a pretty damn good team…of wonky individuals.

Play rec  for my Chicago crew:  Love, Loss, and What I Wore.  Soooooo hilar.  Like seriously, if you’re a girl, you’ll relate to 87% of what’s being said.

I spent my Saturday night before Halloween with 2 ghosts..kidding, the children aren’t that pale.  It was glorious.  I ended up not having to carve a pumpkin (secretly grateful as I don’t think carving will become a tradition for me), but I did get to draw on one.  White babies’ parents were having a date night (!), so the kiddos and I hung out.  After some Indian curry and garlic infused mac and cheese courtesy of Desi Nanny, the Car Boy was ready for what he called “I need a rest.”  Passed out before 8pm.  WHAT??!!  Thank goodness though b/c he was watching some Star Wars episode who knows….and he kept asking me what was going on.  HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW. Watching Star Wars is pretty much what I think vision on an acid trip would be.  Ridiculous.  Thankfully, I wasn’t subjected to much of it.  I picked up the child and dragged him upstairs to bed.  OMG – love how he sleeps with his arse in the air, legs curled up.

Milk boy was a little fussy here and there (SO NEEDY)…but we calmed down after a bit.  And asleep before 8!  Sure, he was pantless when his parents arrived home, but more importantly, he was calm.  He’s crawling and pulling himself up these days.  Love, love, love.  I can’t think of a better way of spending my Halloween weekend…

CTA Update:
I saw Batman heading south towards the loop on Friday.  That is all on that update.  BUT, CTA did write me back about the signage:

Thank you for your comments.  If you see someone smoking, you may also notify a Customer Assistant  and they will take appropriate action.  We have forwarded your information to the responsible General Manger for appropriate action regarding your signage concern.

We appreciate and value your comments.

CTA FEEDBACK TEAM

Partial victory!  I haven’t resorted to tattle taling yet…but I am curious to find out what “appropriate action” means.  I hope it’s a taser.  Ooops.

And I leave you with my new section, I fondly call “Awesome Stuff Uttered by Awesome People.”

WingLady:  Would I pass up a chance to look at your transformation into a FOB? You and me. Friday. Skype date. Done.

**********

Taiwanese Fob:  omg boyz II men’s new album is so good.  hahahah…being woo-ed by 45 year old black men.

Me:  You have problems.

Taiwanese Fob: shhh.

Me:  yeah that line will likely make it to my blog

Taiwanese Fob:  singing that they want to rock your body slowly in 4-part harmony?! who doesn’t want to hear that?!  oh damn.  maybe i shouldn’t have written that last line then

**********
From my favorite fob in the dirty South:
When complaining about the difficulties of installing a wireless router (and subsequent calls to Customer Service): :To add to my distress, I have to press 1 to speak in English. In America.”

So I know I often get on my soapbox about smoking…well, I finally got a response from CTA after I complained about the smoking at the train/bus station.

Thank you for your comments.  Smoking on CTA premises is a violation of Chicago Transit Board Ordinance 98-126.  Bus shelters and City streets are not CTA property but that of the City of Chicago. Anyone who is smoking on CTA property should be asked to stop smoking.  Refusal to stop smoking should be reported to a supervisor or the Control Center.  The reporting individual is to observe instructions from the Controller which may include waiting until the authorities arrive.   

We appreciate and value your comments.

Oh, I see!  I am supposed to patrol the station instead of going to my job.  And wtf is the Control Center (did anyone else think of Power Rangers?)?!  You have not heard the last of me, CTA.  Lame.

This weekend I got to experience lots of happy moments – 1 year old’s birthday, a lovely celebration for a recently wed couple, and going crazy in Paper Source (thanks to generous gifts from 2 lovely ladies).  The weather was nice (as opposed to now when it’s just damn cold), and I laughed a lot.    If you haven’t laughed today, DO IT.  Like right now.  For realz.

If you haven’t laughed yet, this might help.  Taco Bell.  I was in a car with 4 other girls and a notepad filled with orders…Meximelt, Chalupa, Burritos….nearly $100 and a minimum of 100 packets of sauce later, we retreated.  To be in a Taco Bell and have to tell the cashier that one of the girls just got married has to be on my top 10 list of “awesomely awkward, but mostly just awesome” moments.  It scored us a LOT of sauce.

Public Transit Literature (Crap people read on the train/bus) – Yes, I am guilty of pulling out my USWeekly, but I get the magazines for free at work, is it really my fault?!

Ice Cube’s Biography
Levis Johnston’s Autobiography – oh yes, Bristol Palin’s baby daddy.  The lady was reading it with such concentration.  The words were damn big…as in the font size.
Maxim Magazine  — I am sure the articles are A-M-AAAAAzing.

Cap’n Kiks’ Recommendations in Reading and in Life:

For mothers, fathers, and people around babies — information new AAP guidelines for infant sleep safety and SIDS risk reduction:  http://www.healthychildren.org/English/News/pages/AAP-Expands-Guidelines-for-Infant-Sleep-Safety-and-SIDS-Risk-Reduction.aspx

Candles – as winter is fast (?  quickly) approaching, buy candles.  Candles soothe me .

Consistent bed times – lights out at 10pm if not before.  This has been a GREAT addition to my life.  I am not half as bitter in the morning about having to wake up and go to work when I am well-rested.

Turmeric + Honey!  Hellz, yes, I am still on my cleanse.  See abridged conversation w/ my girlfriend below discussing the “benefits”

Crazy Girl 1: lol.  do you really use turmeric?  b/c my only issue is it would leave my skin yellow, like not wash off.  how long do you leave it on?

Crazy Girl 2/Kiks: yest a little too long so yeah i was….uh fake bake tan there for a minute, but i just started so I’ve been doing honey + turmeric. i just want my face to be brighter damn it

Crazy Girl 1: Lol!! Oh.

Crazy Girl 2/Kiks: oh yeah i have no idea…eff, i don’t even know if it’s helping.  you know I’ll believe anything

Crazy Girl 1: also my friend was using this face wash for brighter skin… basically exfoliates.  hahaha. “I’ll believe anything”

Crazy Girl 2/Kiks: nice!  i have some face wash that’s supposed to do that.  right now i am all about home remedy crap.   i won’t
spritz my face in bleach, i promise

Crazy Girl 1: HAHAAH omg I’m cracking up at work

Crazy Girl 2/Kiks: Wow, we are ridiculous.