Meeting’s cancelled so teach me how to dougie.

And it is cold again.  Winter is here and I am currently okay with this.  Though if one more person tells me the damn farmer’s almanac says it’s gonna be a wet and wild winter, I might scream.  It’s Chicago, it’s cold.  Nuff said.  Now obvi, I’ll be complaining about this until mid-March, but you know I am just playin’!  I bought my first real-for-real winter jacket today!  Of course, in my life, this is like my 4th midwest winter, but with the train commute, I figured, I better heed the advice of friends and family.  I will be the onyx marshmallow for the next few months.  Fashionable?  Maibs not.  Warm?  Geez, I hope so.

Like the birds, I migrated South a bit for winter.  Unlike the birds, I came back a little too early.  Visiting family was lovely.  In summary:  Parents want me to get married, my aunt said I was medium-sized, and my cousin WingLady was fabulous company.  It was nice to be away from work for a week, and nice to see the parentals.  Happy to home with my siblings and ready for winter!  Especially with my new coat.

Gangbangers. Public aid. Drugs.  Ghetto.  –> all important life topics; however, WHY were these discussed during my spa mud wrap?!?!!?  Nothing says relaxing like hearing about a lady getting mugged and pushed down stairs at the OHare blue line.  Oye.  Speaking of my spa experiences….this was better than the last one.  So note of advice, buying 5 detoxifying body wraps b/c of a YouSwoop/Living Social/GroupOn….is dumb.

Experience 1:

I really wanted the seaweed wrap.  I have never had a wrap.  BUT they said it would detoxify and I would lose INCHES.  Okay.  First they cancel the day before and then uncancel.  Okay.  I get there – out of seaweed?!?!  Fine.  Next the most awkward citrus wrap occurs. The only relaxing part – the 20 minutes the stilletto heel-wearing, careless scrubbing tech left me alone in the dark.  Except for the fact that my face was getting really warm and essentially stuck to the plastic shower curtain liner I was wrapped in.  Oh.  Then I was given a tiny robe and had to transfer rooms to shower.  In a tiny shower.  With no soap.  And a tiny towel.  Needless to say, I rushed out (all while questioning if this was normal since I, again, had never had a wrap).

Experience 2:

I called to confirm the day of.  They confirmed.  Hours later, it was cancelled.  Cool.  Finally get in.  Different girl (with quieter shoes!)  Turns out my last lady was fired.  She’s back in GreenBay where she belongs.  May she never improperly loufa a lady again.  This girl was super sweet, but SO FREAKING CHATTY.  Also, the national backorder on seaweed continues.  So mud it is.  Why is the mud so cold?!?!  I thought I could get my nap on, but we chatted about how women need to catch a break, crime (SO. MUCH. CRIME), babies, public aid, public health.  Plus, I came to the conclusion that Lady 2 is real bitter that Lady 1 (the loufa offender) hasn’t called her back.  Finally, she wrapped me up and I relaxed.  So lovely.  And this time, the shower was in my room.  AND she gave me a real towel.  And body wash.  But still, why all the gangbanger talk??  Anyhoo, much better experience, but yeah, really just want to wrap up those other 3 wraps.  See what I did there?

Work – it’s going just fine.  

I really enjoy my new role, and to be honest, I freaking love my team.  Yeah, they’re weird, but lovable.  We just had our holiday party – basically, after 12:30 no work was completed.  At 2:00, we got to LEAVE!  And I won a giftcard.  But dang, mine was for Starbucks….somebody else a GRAND.  and an iPad2.  and other amounts of money.  Dang, AAP, you treat us well.  I get to travel a bit more in 2012, so that’s exciting .

Best Web site ever (after this one):  http://icanread.tumblr.com/  — I love, love, love it.

Country music is my thaaang

I have recently starting listening to country music again…after a 15 year or so break.  LOVE.  If you haven’t been to Joe’s in Lakeview (?), you should go to there.  Brett Eldredge was amazing!  Less cool?  The weird mother-daughter-daughter’s boyf trio dancing together.  Awkward.

I hit the ice rink after a 3-4 yearish hiatus this weekend.  Only 1 fall.  Seriously though, all children must be Canadian these days – that one 5 yr old can skate more proficiently than I can walk.

Today I saw a lady on the train who was wearing a wooly mammoth.  Bit OTT (over the top, obvi).

Finally, I am gradually recovering from death aka food poisoning.  It’s been a lackluster 2 days which culminated in my senior supervisor saying “You poor thing, you look grey.”  Oh.  On that note, I think I’ll have a popsicle and nap for dinner.

South Central, yo!

So while g-chatting (on the job, get off my back) with Dirty Hippie, she called me a bad Southeast Asian. LIES. Indians are not Southeast Asian. This led to a rant where I ended up claiming South Central…yo. Gang signs and all.

My life in nutshells. I love pistachios.

Oh, the service industry gets me every time.  Maibs it’s b/c I’ve studied Marketing and worked in the retailing sector, but crap, I love solid customer service. Sprint dude in Bucktown, Chase banker in Logan – you are good people. So nice. And they answered all of my banal questions with (adorable) smiles. Also, my cute waiter at Keefer’s – so sweet!

I could be a lesbian!  Congrats to my favorite local gay couple – the Gavin’s! The Gavins! Gavins’?! Who knows. What a beautiful ceremony – I think with weddings, it’s so easy to get caught up in all the planning, décor, food, pictures, etc…all important. This wedding was so elegant, but as my Polish princess and I discussed…more importantly, for that one moment in time watching them dance – it felt like everything was alright in the world again. Also, the cabaret dancer totes called my friend and me out on being straight. What does that mean?! More importantly, why do I care?! Irregardless, beautiful ceremony, and I am so happy for my friends. Less happy you had to drive to Iowa to make it “legal.” Stupid Illinois. In other news, next adventure needs to be scheduled – a night of dancing at Spin. You know it.

Hilarity on stage…and in the audience.  Cross it off the list –I’ve been to the Biograph Theater (aka Victory Gardens) where Dillinger was shot. Now I feel the need to watch some movies/documentaries on him. But not by myself, obvi. Anyhoo, my dear friend and I saw “Women are Crazy, b/c Men are A**holes.” I know, what you’re thinking…actually, no, I don’t, since most of my readers are females. It was sooooo funny. Even funnier than the play?? The weird crowd of middle-aged Sikh Indian couples in the front row. WTF. No, seriously, WTF. Nothing about this play’s title screamed “Must see for Indians!” Oh, and how they laughed! It was like a social experiment just observing the crowd. Maibs they won the tickets at mandhir/temple. Ha, okay, that’s wrong. Of course when one accented uncle made some kinda dirty remark during the show, my life was permanently scarred.

I can read!  So I think I used to kinda be a reader. Then suddenly I stopped. I don’t know. Eh. Well, I am not ready to get back into serious books…but I am thoroughly enjoying Mindy Kaling’s autobio. It’s amazing how much our lives parallel….’cept hers is 9003x funnier. Oh, and she’s more successful. But besides that, we’re twins.

I have really successfully amazing friends – you should look into their services if you’re in the need for…a doula, perhaps? A fab photographer?  Click on the images below for more details!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I saw this on one of my friend’s facebook statuses – I liked.  I think a few of my lovely girlfriends will love it, too.

Yes, I’m a female. I push doors that clearly say PULL. I laugh harder when I try to explain why I’m laughing. I walk into a room and forget why I was there. I count on my fingers. I hide the pain from my loved ones. I say it is a long story, when it really is not, just to get out of having to tell it. I cry a lot more than you think I do. I care about people who don’t care about me. I am strong because I have to be, not because I want to be. I listen to you, even when you don’t listen to me. And a hug will always help. Yes, I’m a girl!!!!

Really good music:  www.JessGodwin.com

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ConBzNeYOGM

If Batman can ride the L, so can I!

Happy end of October, folks!  I can’t believe we’re finished with 10 months of 2011.  This week at work was aaaamaaaaazing!  And suprisingly productive, but mostly amazing.

Diwali treats — why, yes, my co-worker (now known as my Boo) and I brought in Diwali sweets and shared a little bit of the tradition with my crew.  I also brought in some diyas (white ppl translation: um, clay candle holders?) with incense cones since flames aren’t encouraged in our confines.  Best moment – when a co-worker asked me if the incense was edible.

Pizza Party — our division had a pizza party where I learned way too much about their pasts.  Turns out, I didn’t hate the deep dish from Lou Malnati’s.  It was actually better than I remembered!

Pumpkin Carving — I carved my first pumpkin!  It was…interesting.  Very messy, but I was provided a Starbucks apron by my Boo.  I attempted an Om/Ohm…it was, well, I made it work.

Pod (Cube) Trick or Treating — This is when Polish Princess (Boo#2) and I realized perhaps we had consumed a little too much sugar before 11am.

Overall, good work week!  I have a pretty damn good team…of wonky individuals.

Play rec  for my Chicago crew:  Love, Loss, and What I Wore.  Soooooo hilar.  Like seriously, if you’re a girl, you’ll relate to 87% of what’s being said.

I spent my Saturday night before Halloween with 2 ghosts..kidding, the children aren’t that pale.  It was glorious.  I ended up not having to carve a pumpkin (secretly grateful as I don’t think carving will become a tradition for me), but I did get to draw on one.  White babies’ parents were having a date night (!), so the kiddos and I hung out.  After some Indian curry and garlic infused mac and cheese courtesy of Desi Nanny, the Car Boy was ready for what he called “I need a rest.”  Passed out before 8pm.  WHAT??!!  Thank goodness though b/c he was watching some Star Wars episode who knows….and he kept asking me what was going on.  HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW. Watching Star Wars is pretty much what I think vision on an acid trip would be.  Ridiculous.  Thankfully, I wasn’t subjected to much of it.  I picked up the child and dragged him upstairs to bed.  OMG – love how he sleeps with his arse in the air, legs curled up.

Milk boy was a little fussy here and there (SO NEEDY)…but we calmed down after a bit.  And asleep before 8!  Sure, he was pantless when his parents arrived home, but more importantly, he was calm.  He’s crawling and pulling himself up these days.  Love, love, love.  I can’t think of a better way of spending my Halloween weekend…

CTA Update:
I saw Batman heading south towards the loop on Friday.  That is all on that update.  BUT, CTA did write me back about the signage:

Thank you for your comments.  If you see someone smoking, you may also notify a Customer Assistant  and they will take appropriate action.  We have forwarded your information to the responsible General Manger for appropriate action regarding your signage concern.

We appreciate and value your comments.

CTA FEEDBACK TEAM

Partial victory!  I haven’t resorted to tattle taling yet…but I am curious to find out what “appropriate action” means.  I hope it’s a taser.  Ooops.

And I leave you with my new section, I fondly call “Awesome Stuff Uttered by Awesome People.”

WingLady:  Would I pass up a chance to look at your transformation into a FOB? You and me. Friday. Skype date. Done.

**********

Taiwanese Fob:  omg boyz II men’s new album is so good.  hahahah…being woo-ed by 45 year old black men.

Me:  You have problems.

Taiwanese Fob: shhh.

Me:  yeah that line will likely make it to my blog

Taiwanese Fob:  singing that they want to rock your body slowly in 4-part harmony?! who doesn’t want to hear that?!  oh damn.  maybe i shouldn’t have written that last line then

**********
From my favorite fob in the dirty South:
When complaining about the difficulties of installing a wireless router (and subsequent calls to Customer Service): :To add to my distress, I have to press 1 to speak in English. In America.”

Has our bus driver been drinking?

Man, those words are NOT comforting when you’re on the bus on a Monday afternoon on I-90.  Have I made a “Speed” reference before?  It was rather frightening, okay, mostly it just made me feel a little nauseous.  Needless to say, it’s Tuesday, so I obviously made it.  Today when I got on the bus, I noticed the dude was wearing his glasses.  On Monday, notsomuch.

So I know I often get on my soapbox about smoking…well, I finally got a response from CTA after I complained about the smoking at the train/bus station.

Thank you for your comments.  Smoking on CTA premises is a violation of Chicago Transit Board Ordinance 98-126.  Bus shelters and City streets are not CTA property but that of the City of Chicago. Anyone who is smoking on CTA property should be asked to stop smoking.  Refusal to stop smoking should be reported to a supervisor or the Control Center.  The reporting individual is to observe instructions from the Controller which may include waiting until the authorities arrive.   

We appreciate and value your comments.

Oh, I see!  I am supposed to patrol the station instead of going to my job.  And wtf is the Control Center (did anyone else think of Power Rangers?)?!  You have not heard the last of me, CTA.  Lame.

This weekend I got to experience lots of happy moments – 1 year old’s birthday, a lovely celebration for a recently wed couple, and going crazy in Paper Source (thanks to generous gifts from 2 lovely ladies).  The weather was nice (as opposed to now when it’s just damn cold), and I laughed a lot.    If you haven’t laughed today, DO IT.  Like right now.  For realz.

If you haven’t laughed yet, this might help.  Taco Bell.  I was in a car with 4 other girls and a notepad filled with orders…Meximelt, Chalupa, Burritos….nearly $100 and a minimum of 100 packets of sauce later, we retreated.  To be in a Taco Bell and have to tell the cashier that one of the girls just got married has to be on my top 10 list of “awesomely awkward, but mostly just awesome” moments.  It scored us a LOT of sauce.

Public Transit Literature (Crap people read on the train/bus) – Yes, I am guilty of pulling out my USWeekly, but I get the magazines for free at work, is it really my fault?!

Ice Cube’s Biography
Levis Johnston’s Autobiography – oh yes, Bristol Palin’s baby daddy.  The lady was reading it with such concentration.  The words were damn big…as in the font size.
Maxim Magazine  — I am sure the articles are A-M-AAAAAzing.

Cap’n Kiks’ Recommendations in Reading and in Life:

For mothers, fathers, and people around babies — information new AAP guidelines for infant sleep safety and SIDS risk reduction:  http://www.healthychildren.org/English/News/pages/AAP-Expands-Guidelines-for-Infant-Sleep-Safety-and-SIDS-Risk-Reduction.aspx

Candles – as winter is fast (?  quickly) approaching, buy candles.  Candles soothe me .

Consistent bed times – lights out at 10pm if not before.  This has been a GREAT addition to my life.  I am not half as bitter in the morning about having to wake up and go to work when I am well-rested.

Turmeric + Honey!  Hellz, yes, I am still on my cleanse.  See abridged conversation w/ my girlfriend below discussing the “benefits”

Crazy Girl 1: lol.  do you really use turmeric?  b/c my only issue is it would leave my skin yellow, like not wash off.  how long do you leave it on?

Crazy Girl 2/Kiks: yest a little too long so yeah i was….uh fake bake tan there for a minute, but i just started so I’ve been doing honey + turmeric. i just want my face to be brighter damn it

Crazy Girl 1: Lol!! Oh.

Crazy Girl 2/Kiks: oh yeah i have no idea…eff, i don’t even know if it’s helping.  you know I’ll believe anything

Crazy Girl 1: also my friend was using this face wash for brighter skin… basically exfoliates.  hahaha. “I’ll believe anything”

Crazy Girl 2/Kiks: nice!  i have some face wash that’s supposed to do that.  right now i am all about home remedy crap.   i won’t
spritz my face in bleach, i promise

Crazy Girl 1: HAHAAH omg I’m cracking up at work

Crazy Girl 2/Kiks: Wow, we are ridiculous.

A dash of turmeric, a dollop of honey, and a tablespoon of neurosis.

Sooo, my cousin (formerly known as Mochi, now named WingLady) and I have been on a mission to better ourselves…yeah, sure on the inside, too, but that’s not half as interesting as the exterior renovation!  First, we’re doing more exercise….well, she definitely is.  I have started yoga.  One class in, and I didn’t feel like a complete loser?  Oye, I am not flexible.  Let’s just say there was a lot of “personal one-on-one attention” paid to me.  And also, let’s say that yoga studios smell.  And also, let’s say, that perhaps I should try it without socks.  So that’s step 1.  We’re also improving our diet – I am trying to cut out soda for the most part and minimize my sugar intake (I said minimize not eliminate, don’t be crazy).  And on to Step 3 – FACE MAKEOVERS!  Yes, we’re on a home remedy kick…honey, lime juice, baking soda, milk, turmeric…if it’ll cleanse and brighten my face, I’ll slap it on.

It’s kinda fun because 1) I love face cleansing and 2) it’s like being a chemistry nerd without really being a chemistry nerd.  Plus we really look ridiculous skyping with that shit on our face.  My personal favorite was when I had to say to WingLady - “Girl, I think you got some honey dripping from your chin.”  Let’s call it, a Fall of Improvements.  Of course, like I said, we are taking care of our inner selves, too…balancing work and play, being a little less hard on ourselves, and celebrating small successes.  Obvi, the face cleanse is much more blogworthy.  Tonight, I shall try turmeric…a tried and true Indian secret for faces.  Let’s hope I don’t look like Mr Dink [Oh hellz yes, I just made a Doug ref] tmrw.

I went apple picking this weekend!  And corn mazing!  And pumpkin patching!  It was nice to be outdoors, and it was nice to take ridiculous pictures of ourselves doing outdoorsy stuff.

 

Ohh, since I last blogged, I’ve discovered some hilaaaaaar links via my hilaaaaaaaaar friends on my hilaaaaaaaaaar Facebook feed.

Best parody of a song ever – This will be especially funny for my South Asian friends and South Asian-food loving friends.  And for my friends who like to laugh.

Dear All Boys – Okay, this made me laugh a lot.  Not only is it laughworthy, it’s also well written and kinda totally the TRUTH.

Go Bears!

 

The luck of the Irish…

Okay, this post really has nothing to do with Irish people…except to say today on my way out of the train, in the rain, sans umbrella, a lovely Irish bloke positioned his umbrella over me to shield the rain.  It was such a sweet gesture.  Then he spoke.  OMG, I LOVE ACCENTS, people.  He said I was special and to have a lOOOOvely evening.  Chivalry is not dead.

Onto the training.  F.  Doctors. Seriously, how do you get through the day without help?  So freaking needy.  The training was an uber success.  Sure, I misplaced my wallet (found) and yes, I walked past the damn street for the hotel and trekked an extra mile or so, and yeah, I had to sneak into the staff only areas to get the catering people’s attention…but all in all, SUCCESS.  Turns out, I can babysit like nobody’s business.  I finally met the doctor who called me 9832409283409 times prior to the training.  I met the Indian doc who told me where to find wedding garb.  In the middle of another conversation, he may or may not have interrupted to ask where my parents were from in the mothaland.  Cool.  Oh, and it turns out the Facebook doc was pretty cool.  Not cool enough to FB friend, but cool.  Perhaps, they were all a bit clingy.  Turns out most were really nice.  A few were as annoying as their pre-training communications.  All were grateful.

I think the fact that I am ridiculously organized got people a bit confused – yeah, no I actually don’t work for the hotel.  I know what you’re thinking, she’s brown, she’s Gujarati, of course she’ll know about the hotel check-out time.  OF COURSE.

My personal favorite was witnessing my Executive Director get into a little bit of a teenage girl fight with the next door Northwestern conference people.  Talk about an awkward embarrassing parent moment.  All in all, great training, I was undeservedly praised for the efforts of many, and it’s effing over.  Good learning experience.  Nice to see so many minds collaborate on an important issue.  But again, SO FREAKING HAPPY IT IS OVER.  Now I just have to deal with a gazillion expense reports and accounting crap.  Surprisingly, I don’t mind this stuff.  Numbers make sense and you know I love Excel.

The weather is turning fall-ish.  I am okay with this, I guess.  Wasn’t much of a summer, so I am happy to be switching gears to pumpkins and coppery tones and crunchy leaves and hot teas…

In other news, I get my life back!  Holla.  Cheers to reminding ourselves work is only a part of who we are…work hard, play harder, and nap often.  IMPORTANT LIFE LESSONS, folks.

 

The calm before the medical storm…

Two more days until the big training.  At this point, I am numb from being tired, but not numb enough to not complain!  OMG, doctors, I am not your mom.  I. Am. Not. Your. Mom.  If you misplace information I’ve already sent to you, look for it.  Don’t ask me.  If you think you can take a limo to this training from the airport…well, you’re dumb.  Sigh.  All in all, things are moving smoothly, and I feel like this is actually going to be a great event.  Good learning experience, but honestly cannot wait until it’s over.  The co-workers (aka Polish mafia) and I are treating ourselves out to a night in the citaaaay post doctor-craziness.  I think after this weekend I am going to have lots of awesome stories.  Like when I finally get to the meet the doctor who facebook friended me.  Or the one who has called me at least 10 times in the last 2 months.  Or even the one who told me where to get my wedding clothes.  Or the collaborator whom I’ve had to silence more than a few times on conference calls.

In other news, there are bees all over the Academy.  WTF.  Do we need a Committee on Bug Control or something?  Am I supposed to be able to concentrate when Betsy the Bee is flying over me?  At least she didn’t fly into my shirt and get trapped….poor Polish girl.

Over lunch today, we chatted about stupid things boys have said to us.  Remember when that dude told me I was verbose?  Oh, and the ADD comment?  I think we’ve beat those.  When I didn’t catch on to a poorly worded sentiment, I was once (okay more than once) told I was slow.  Um, not okay.  And changing up the language actually doesn’t make it cute.  But the Pole once again ONE-UPPED me.  Some dude told her to get with the times because she wasn’t on Twitter.  And then…he called…her…a dinosaur.  I am sorry, what?!  First of all, dinosaurs are awesome, so don’t be making it seem like they’re not.  Second, what?  A dinosaur?  FYI – Twitter is not the wave of the future.  It is useful social media when properly implemented.  To this guy:  Please stop saying silly things…to girls…you may or may not be trying to impress.  We all say dumb shit, but seriously, we should probably stop saying it aloud so often.

On a perkier note, I love giving tourists direction on the blue line.  My favorite question is “What’s the best stop to get ‘downtown’?”  I love it because there are so many options, but I always choose one (from the blue, at least) – Washington Blue, get out, walk east (towards the lake/Michigan Ave)…it’s such a spectacular view.  The city just opens up from the narrow street, and I really just can’t say enough positive things about it.

Happy sigh.  I like coming home and relaxing a bit…especially when I know the next 3 days will be anything but relaxing.  Maybe this training will be one of those moments where I am like “Wow, I am really proud of the work that I do.”  Maibs.  Nevertheless, I am excited about the notion of a few details being transformed into an elaborate-ish conference.  Should be a good time for all.

Chicago locals – check out www.KylesCupcakery.com for the best cupcakes in the city.  I don’t even really like cupcakes, but these are delectable.

Atlanta locals  – support my favorite non-profit, Raksha Inc by attending the 13th Annual Ek Shaam Raksha Ke Naam (A Night in the Name of Protection).

Can’t make it?  Want to still support the mission of these wonderful women (and men)?  Donate today!

Happy Birthday, Aparna, you inspire me more than you’ll ever know .

 

Holiday jazz and a nice bath…

OMG…I thought bubble baths were supposed to be relaxing!  Okay, it kinda was.  I had such a week.  SUCH A WEEK.  In one week, I will staff a training I’ve been planning for a couple of months sans my fearless leader (reminder:  she recently left us to pursue worldly public health – very exciting!)   My week included a LOT of last minute organizing as everything about this training is…last…minute.  All I wanted to do is come home, chat with a friend about her dissertation (my nerdiness is endearing, no?), and take a bath in my jacuzzi-jet tub.  Mind you, I can’t remember the last time I took a “bath.”  But I was excited, nevertheless.  A benefit of working for the American Academy of Pediatrics…at a recent work event, we were given a bag of random promotional items.  One of the items was a J&J’s Soothing nighttime baby bath.  I realize I am 27, but daaaaamn, I was EXCITED.

So I finish my call (so excited for my friend as she nears the completion of her PhD!) and then get my bath going.  First, of course, I ensure my tub is spotless and then struggle for 2 minutes trying to “stop” the drain.  Finally, it is filling with super hot water.  Yum.  Of course, when it’s on the hottest, the water pressure is crap.  Okay, fine, this may take a while.  I do random things.  I light a couple of candles.  I put on my holiday jazz station on Pandora (Lil Wayne just didn’t seem right), and I wait.  And wait.  Then I realize water isn’t as hot anymore.  Huh.  The village Indian me was alerted and I thought, LET ME BOIL SOME WATER to top off my bath.  Of course, I haven’t quite gotten all my pots and pans in order since the move…so, I have a medium size pan that I begin to fill w water.  I turn on the stove.  I watch it for a second.  Then I accept the fact that I am way too scared to carry this pan to my tub…the thought of scalding my legs just overcame me.  So that idea was done.  I decide, fine, I can do this.  I climb into my bath with my J&J wash and relax.  I turn on the jets.  I can’t hear the music.  The jets are loud.  This isn’t relaxing.  I turn off the jets.  Water seems to have gotten colder.  But still relaxed.  Sure.  I turn on the jets again.  I move in apparently the wrong way and cause a jet of water to escape and splash all over the outside of my tub and my damn candle.  Oh.  I turn off the jets.   Approximately 6 minutes later, I am done and feel the need to rinse off thoroughly.  It’s weird to just sit in water, isn’t it?  I didn’t feel like reading b/c my eyes were tired; I couldn’t talk on the phone b/c I feared dropping it…plus the jets were dang loud.  I feel like I didn’t do this correctly.  Am I supposed to feel jittery after a soothing bath?  Alas, I will have to try again another day.  Current Bath Grade:  C+.  But I will say, J&J baby wash is divine!

Just a quick note – Michelle Bachmann, fire your communications team.  They clearly are playing a joke on you.  Way to go, AAP for promoting truth and science….and public health.  I am all about respecting others, and I know people have their various reasons for not vaccinating.  However, if you are going to speak in a PUBLIC forum, please get your facts straight.  Please.  Realize that people listen to you, and that it’s your job to speak the truth…PubMed may be of service to you.

OHHH, sticking to health (it’s my thing, embrace it)…I have HAD IT with the smokers at the train/bus station.  But note to self, if you’re going to give somebody the evil eye, take off your DAMN sunglasses.  Lesson learned.  I recently wrote the Chicago RTA/Pace/CTA (who really knows) about my concerns about people smoking in crowds where children are present.  Oh, and me.  TBD.

Lastly, I think I may have given the facilities guy the wrong idea at work.  I laugh.  A. lot.  Giggle.  Yes, one of my co-workers is constantly throwing things over by cube wall at me.  And yes, I giggle when Lil Wayne says pretty much anything into my earbuds.  But when the facilities’ dude comes into my cube and pokes me in the arm and asks me why I am always giggling….I am suddenly subdued.  Oye, at my old corporate job, my friend told everybody I had herpes and that I was a terrorist (neither of which are really funny, but if you know me, maybe you’ll laugh), and now this.  And the laughs keep on coming…

In other news, today is a me day…haircut, laundry, “garage sale” at my friend’s, refurbishing some furniture (okay, painting those cubes I found in trash), cleaning, maibs a trip to Paper Source for some card supplies.    Hell, maybe I’ll vacuum.

101 ways to de-stress…or at least 15.

You know when you have those days when just about everything and everyone are annoying?  Most likely for no reason at all…perhaps, you’re tired, perhaps you’re overworked, or in some cases, perhaps those people are just really annoying.  Here are some of my suggestions for destressing.  I plan to try all of them if I haven’t already…

1) Making cards – I really do enjoy making cards – something about sending mail makes me all giggly inside.  I hate glitter in life, I love glittery cards.

2) Taking long walks…mind you, I haven’t been able to do that too often of late, but I am thinking about using my lunch time for it…Nothing like dodging goose poop around a fake lake in the suburbs to calm the nerves.

3) Laughter.  Laugh at really ridiculous things.

4) vacuuming - no, but for real, is there anything greater than the feel of freshly vacuumed carpet?  Mind you, I only have a giant rug, so it’s not quite the same, but it will do.

5) Zoning out to some random show (my obvious flavor of the month is Mad Men)

6) PJ carpet dancing – yes, it’s brilliant, I have found that dancing around in pajamas while rocking out to Best I Ever Had  and reliving my Atlanta clubbing days to be quite relaxing.  Surely, it’s good for me, too, since this version is light on the liquor.

Okay, enough of the PC ones…

7) How often do you really just want to tell somebody what you think of her/him – whether it be work-related, personal, or the dude that felt the need to sit next to you on the train when there are plenty of seats available.  OR the damn bus driver who clearly needs to carry sicky bags on board.  I digress.  As I often do.  Stay with me, people.  Soooo whenever said comment is likely NOT going to benefit the individual, I have found telling a friend about what you want to say, or writing it down, or saving the email draft to be rather wonderful.  It gives you the opportunity to speak your mind AND not have to candy-coat what you’re saying.  It’s brilliant, I think.  You’re heard, possibly validated if speaking to a friend, and then you can move on.  Mind you, I really want to make this list and then throw the pieces into the river b/c that is soooo much more poetic; however, since I am in public health, I’ll probably pen the letter on scrap paper and then recycle it.  To each their own.

8) Screaming!  I know, I know, I’ve talked about this before.  But DUDES, seriously, try it.  Not when next to people, obvi.  Car screaming is rather calming in a freakish way.  Of course when you’re finished, be finished and move on.  Again, readily available water is key.

9) Crying.  And I am not talking about the sweet, precious moments kinda crying.  Ugly crying.  Ugly crying sometimes leads to the best sleep ever.  I don’t recommend it often, but sometimes it does the trick.

10) Ask for help…this one is actually pretty normal.  Just ask.  A great friend of mine once told me friends are really there for the bad times – that is the sign of a true friend – when you can have fun with them, but also when they come through during the less fun moments.

11) Drink.  I am not a crazy drinker, but for one girl in particular, I suggest…restocking the muscatto.  Drink responsibly, of course.  Just don’t smoke!

12) Walk in random paths as you talk on the phone.  Why?  I DON’T KNOW.  Just try it.

13) Yoga?  Okay, I haven’t done much of this, but I will say taking incredibly deep breaths is very helpful.

14) Remind yourself you’re replaceable – yes, harsh, I know.  But sometimes, I think when we get that Superman complex about ourselves (mostly in regard to work), everything seems soooo urgent.  Sometimes, crap really is urgent.  Other times…it’s just not.

15) Piggybacking on 14 – leave work in the cube.  I know this is not possible for like 60% of my friends/family.  But if it is, DO IT.  This is my 3rd attempt at this little piece of advice.  I’ve decided if I have to stay late okay, if I have to come in on a Saturday, fine (every now and again), but all of my work will remain at my desk.  My home is for me and dancing in my PJs.  I cannot be bothered with work within it.

16) Text a friend or family member you haven’t talked to in ages.  I LOVE the random responses.  Remember they prolly miss you, too.

17) Ugh, exercise.  Yeah, whatever, I know I should say this is totally a relaxer, but for me personally, it’s JUST NOT.   See entry about PJ dancing for alternative solutions.

18) Give yourself a facial…for those of you who know me well, you know my obsession with cleansing products.  Hell, I’d Windex myself if I thought it would keep me clean.

19) Make a list of stuff you’ve already done and cross things off.  Or do it the right way, whatevs.

Okay, I am spent for now…mostly because I really want to vacuum.  Ohhhhhhh, and clean my cubes aka end tables I found in the trash.   Perhaps, then I will dance my way into dinner and top off my night with a lovely facial and a book.

Bottomline, life is stressful, but for the most part, there are ways to make it seem sunnier on those particularly overcast days.

Does this shirt make me look Polish?

Labor Day has come and gone.  I did no work.  None.  Nada.  Okay, I lamely filled out my 6 month eval (summary:  I am awesome, you’re welcome.  I am sorry for your life before me.).  I slept.  Oh to sleep.  I saw Jazz, I saw Polish people, I found a rug.  I hung out with my sis/bro and friends.  I played with our friends’ adorable baby.  I got a mani/pedi.  I found 2 adorable cubes (someone’s trash = my new endtables) that I plan to paint green and khaki to match my living room…rug.  Yeah, I am sure I’ll get a couch eventually.  It was brilliant.  And today I came home and made cards.  And now I get to blog.  Later I plan to chat with a childhood besty.  Fall is in the air; life is crisp and delicious.

Okay, enough happy talk.  Seriously, the other day I couldn’t find a seat on the train because the following contents littered 2 seats:  a Subway sandwich bag, a hotel lotion, and an airline size of Johnny Walker.  So the essentials, really.  Gaaah, people!  Then today on the train, I felt as though my head was literally going to disengage from my neck due to the rickety rackety-ness.  I’m sorry, isn’t this route you take you EVERY DAY, conductor?  Oye.  Recent smells:  what I imagine the inside of explosion smells like and vomit.  I miss riding the classy purple to Linden.

I have 2 more days before my boss leaves for a new opportunity abroad.  I am very excited for her, but let’s be honest, I am not excited for me.  I will try not to make my future posts sound too bummy…I am sure my deskside jar of peanut butter will help get me through the rougher days .  Ohhhh, I had to present in a meeting last week, and I didn’t eff up!  Mind you, I was super nervous that boss’ boss’ boss was going to tell me to shove it again, but then he left before it was my turn.  WINNING.  And I confirmed with my co-worker…it did NOT sound like I was crying.  How’s that for progress?   Work, schmork…I am finally learning to leave it in the cube.  Of course, that just means I have to return to said cube this Saturday, but then I am totes leaving it there.

Update on landlord!  Old landlord = no longer in my life for the most part.  It’s like getting rid of a constant cough.  New landlord = still seems like a winner.  Yippee!

In other news, I have quickly been reminded that living by myself has its quirky restrictions:

- I cannot open my soy sauce, mustard, or pickles.  True story, I just bought another bottle of pickles.

- I have the COOLEST new bathroom rack I want to put together…I cannot open the damn box.  For a visual – imagine me at 3am Sunday morning (after returning from a bollywood flick in the burbs - yes, I was one of those Indians), hopped up on diet coke….trying to scratch my way through an impentrable cardboard box.  Hands – fail.  Scissors – fail.  So now the box mocks me each day when I return home.  Hmmph.

Okay, so back to the Bollywood flick.  If you’re into the geriatric that is Salman Khan you may enjoy…personally my favorite part was definitely this song:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tyxswccv-VU – It’s sweet, I love the music, it almost makes you forget the constant visual of Salman Khan flexing his pecs and arms for the crowd.  Yes, Mochi, I am referring to you and your children obsession with Salman Kaka (sorry if I lost the non-Desi readers for a minute).

Signing off,

Honorary Polish Princess Kiks